What Number Cousin Were You Again?

Or, how to amaze your relatives with little known and mostly useless facts.

Okay, before I start, it’s true that some of today’s blended families make the idea of half-siblings and second cousins kind of moot, and maybe a little annoying or even a bit offensive. Regardless, I push on. Most of the structure for this came from reading an article in the Farmer’s Almanac some years ago, and the picture stuck in my head well enough so that I can share it around and make – hopefully – sense.

This is a story about the extended family of Alice and Alan, who got married a long time ago and had two children, Bonnie and Bob.

Bonnie and Bob, of course, were brother and sister. They grew to adulthood and met other people and married and had children of their own.

Carol was the daughter of Bonnie and her husband. Bob and his wife had a son named Carl. Carol and Carl, as you probably know, were cousins. First cousins, to be exact.

Carol and Carl both grew up and met wonderful people and married, and each had children of their own. Carol’s daughter was Diane, and Carl’s son was Doug.

Diane and Doug were the children of first cousins Carol and Carl. That meant that Diane and Doug were second cousins. In some states that means they could marry. I guess that legal status might be one reason people might care about the degree of relatedness, if that’s a word. I’m not going to try to figure out what happens when distant cousins marry. It wasn’t covered in the Farmer’s Almanac.

But there’s more. Diane and Doug both grew up: you figured this was coming. They married other people and had children of their own. Diane’s daughter was Emily, and Doug’s son was Eddie.

You can probably explain this part yourself by now. Emily and Eddie? As the children of second cousins Diane and Doug, that made them third cousins.

The big picture at this point:

And so on through the ages. But now somebody is going to ask: what’s all this “removed” stuff?

“Removed” is how you describe, for example, how Carol is related to Doug.

Doug is the son of Carol’s first cousin Carl. How is Doug related to Carol?

As it turns out, because Carol is first cousins with Carl, that makes her first cousins with all of Carl’s descendants. You get one “removed” for each generation you go down.

So, Doug is Carol’s first cousin once removed.

Eddie is Carol’s first cousin twice removed.

This works for the second and third cousins, and so forth.

Because Diane and Doug are second cousins, that means Diane is also second cousins with all of Doug’s descendants. Just add a “removed” for each generation you go down the chart.

For example, Diane and Eddie are second cousins once removed. If Eddie has a child, and let’s call him Finn, then Diane and Finn will be second cousins twice removed.

Over a long time, lots of people lose track of their relatives through the simple reason that people move away and it’s harder to stay close. The Internet helps keep people together now, although it’s kind of different from face-to-face interaction. It’s nice to know what your cousins are up to, but there’s no substitute for a hug.

But it sure is nice to know what your bloodline is up to. A long time ago, when people didn’t live as long as today, it used to be accepted that a person was truly blessed if they got to meet their grandchildren. In my case, I’ve been triply blessed with grandchildren. Not only that, I have not only a first cousin, but one who is once removed, one who is twice removed, and even a first cousin thrice removed. Our grandson has a third cousin, and also a third cousin once removed. That in itself is not so strange – probably anyone with an ancestor who had a sibling has that kind of relations out there somewhere, but the neat part is that I know these people and we keep in touch.

Yeah, and we like each other. Maybe getting along with your relatives is the hard part. That will have to be the topic for another day.

Joe Larson
4 February 2013

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What Number Cousin Were You Again?